Vamp!Elena is my unfulfilled fanfic dream

[semele]

I've had this phase before, and I got over it. But today ever_neutral gave me some recs, and I started reading, and I'm sort of obsessed again. I was supposed to make a TVD Christmas Speculation Post, but it can wait, it's still November ;). Vamp!Elena is in my head RIGHT NOW!

Welcome back, obsession. I sort of missed you.


I'm not sure if I want Elena to be a vampire in canon, but I'm deeply in love with vamp!Elena fanfiction. Ok, I generally frown upon fics in which Elena decides to be turned because she wants to be with one of the Salvatores, and it's OMG SO EPIC LOVE, but other than that? Elena turned against her will. Elena choosing to turn, because she doesn't see any other option (like: she can't kill Klaus, but she can do something to ruin his supply of doppelganger blood). Elena dealing with transition. Elena with all her features magnified. Elena with all her issues magnified.

And her relationship with Damon? ENTIRELY NEW LEVEL! She would be furious with him. She would depend on him. He would be thrilled that she's a vampire. He would be terrified that she's a vampire. He wouldn't know how to deal with it. He would have to help her. Elena would hate herself and project it on Damon. Elena would find that her connection with Damon is even deeper. I don't really know how to grasp the subject, but this is, like, the fic of my dreams. I'd love to write it, but I probably never will, because I have no idea how (believe me, I tried...), but I would totally read it, and hey, I can speculate the hell out of the subject.

And how about you? What's your deep, dark fanfic craving? What do you think about fics in which canon humans are turned into vampires? Because I also love the idea of vamp!Alaric, and I wouldn't say no to a good writer doing something about vamp!Wesley. Or perhaps there is someone who is also craving vamp!Elena as badly as I am, and you want to tell me all about it?

Comments

[le-mru.livejournal.com]

I dunno, it reminds me too much of Twilight. I'm not saying your fic does, but the whole idea of it. It seems to me that turning is the easy way out, even though most vampire-centric texts make an entirely different case. It's just that I strongly associate the human condition with being human, I guess :P

[upupa-epops.livejournal.com]

Lol, no, I didn't have anything Twilighty in mind. But you pretty much summed up all the reasons why I'd hesitate if someone asked me if I wanted something like that to happen in the show. In fanfic, though, it seems to me like an interesting angle to think about Elena, and, perhaps, generally about vampirism.

[ever-neutral.livejournal.com]

ALL OF THIS. I love vamp!Elena in fic so, so hard. Things we know.

Elena would hate herself and project it on Damon.

YESSSSS MY FAVOURITE THING. (Good Lord, why is this a kink for me.) It would be "people DIE around you" magnified x100000.

It makes me wonder if their relationship would ever go in such a direction on the show. Right now it seems that Elena feels little moral superiority over Damon. He's the one she calls after she stabs Rebekah in the back. He's the only one privy to her turbulent moral doubts about her own identity. And he has no problem with her darkness. Who is he to judge? He'll love her no matter how unloveable she gets. I wonder if she'll eventually come to resent that.

[upupa-epops.livejournal.com]

Good Lord, why is this a kink for me

Don't ask questions you don't want to know the answers for XD. That said: OMG BRING ME ALL THE FIC!!! Elena hating and projecting is the queen of my heart. Because I DO have one!

And he has no problem with her darkness. Who is he to judge? He'll love her no matter how unloveable she gets. I wonder if she'll eventually come to resent that.

OMG, YESSSSSSSSSSS!!! Damon can love Elena pretty much unconditionally, because what he really loves is the idea of loving Elena. For everything to make sense, he needs to love Elena. So he will love her no matter what. The only condition she has to fulfill for him to love her is to be Elena. And there is no way she's gonna fail at that, because Damon doesn't care how close Elena and Katherine get, not any more. Elena could go all insane Katherine 2.0, and Damon would just embrace it. As long as he has at least part of Elena's attention, she can do whatever the hell she wants. Damon is pathetic like that.

Elena probably loves to be loved in such a way. Hell, who wouldn't? It's like being someone's God, the most tempting thing in the world. But now that she gets darker and darker, she will also start hating the lack of expectations. Hanging on to expectations would be vamp!Elena's performance, her link to humanity. She would probably make Damon pretend that he has some standards for her to meet. And Damon would totally fail at having them in times of crisis.

LALALALA, AU LAND!

[ever-neutral.livejournal.com]

Damon can love Elena pretty much unconditionally, because what he really loves is the idea of loving Elena. For everything to make sense, he needs to love Elena.

OMG YES. Because being loyal no matter what is Damon's #1 principle. (It's weird to say that Damon is a principled guy, but there you go. He has his own beliefs~) And haha, total word to Damon being pathetic like that. /pets the psycho

Elena probably loves to be loved in such a way. Hell, who wouldn't? It's like being someone's God, the most tempting thing in the world. But now that she gets darker and darker, she will also start hating the lack of expectations.

YES, THIS. We are seeing the former already in abundance. Elena doesn't want to commit in any way to Damon, but she absolutely values the emotional power she has over him. She counts on being #1 to him even though he is not #1 for her. But the more disillusioned she becomes with herself, the more she will resent him for loving her anyway. SHE WILL PROBABLY LONG FOR STEFAN'S ELENA. omg this could be super juicy.

[upupa-epops.livejournal.com]

This is an interesting fic we're plotting here. And the fun part is that it fits both vamp!Elena and human!Elena scenario.

Hey, Damon totally has priciples! It's like, you know, thieves never steal in their own neighborhood and murderers bully paedophiles in prisions. Our boy follows RULES. Just don't tell him, he's shy about it.

Elena doesn't want to commit in any way to Damon, but she absolutely values the emotional power she has over him.

Yes! And he kind of values this power as well? I've just re-watched 2x09, and when Rose kicked Damon's ass in Richmond (you know, pinning him to the car, "I'm older and stronger than you" talk), his face was all: "Ok, NOW I'M INTRIGUED!". So Elena's emotional power - big turn-on. He might've fallen in love with sweet, compassionate Elena in s1, but it never sank really deep; he was ready to go back to Katherine the minute she showed her face. But when Elena started coming with the package of emotional blackmail and unreasonable demands? Suddenly he's doing all the stupid things for her: he goes werewolf-hunting, he promises Elena he will never leave her etc. I see what you do here, Damon!

[ever-neutral.livejournal.com]

WORD. Damon likes people who slap him around (lol). He is contemptuous of people who treat him as superior (to the point of punishing them for it), and he grows attached to people who treat him as inferior. It's 100% compatible with your theory that he's a natural submissive. IN CONCLUSION. The quickest way to Damon's heart: Treat him like shit. :)

Also agreed about Damon's love for Elena. I honestly don't think there's any point in S1 where he's truly in love with her. He feels love for her as a friend (plus he's attracted to her, obviously). But he's completely unused to feeling pure affection for women in that way, so his poor brain warps it into something sexual. HOWEVER, IN S2. Elena totally falls off that pedestal to him. She starts displaying Katherine-like manipulativeness towards him, as well as suicidal ideation reminiscent of his own self-destructive tendencies. Because Damon is a weirdo, the more disillusioned he grows with Elena, the more he loves her. You were totally right when you described their relationship as being one of consistent disillusionment and true friendship simultaneously. Damon is disillusioned with Elena for the entirety of S2, and that is what cements his love for her.

I'd even go so far as to say that also applies for Elena's feelings for Damon. I believe she was being completely honest in 2x01 when she insisted she had no romantic feelings for him. (An attraction, sure, but nothing out of her control.) But the more she sees how truly damaged he is, the stronger her feelings for him grow. Of course, this is completely fucked up no matter which way you look at it, because it essentially means that she didn't fall for him until after he'd done a number of horribly abusive things to her. But on the flip-side, there is something very honest about the progression of their feelings. In essence, the more they've gotten to know each other (in the ugliest of ways), the more they care.

TL;DR Elena and Damon are in love with each other's damage. This is the "something" that binds them together. IT'S AS PLAIN AS THAT.

[upupa-epops.livejournal.com]

I'm having an "Oh fuck, do I really ship this???" moment XD.

Also: I caught a flu or something, so I'm stuck at home and I can finally do my re-watch properly! And I've just finished 2x10, where an interesting thing happens. When Damon catches Elena in Richmond and tries to bully her into going back to Mystic Falls, there is some weirdly sexualized body language going on, and when I was watching it for the first time, I sort of waved it off as gratuitious. Well, it's not. Damon is consciously using sexual innuendos to make Elena feel uneasy, to put her off-guard and make it easier for himself to make her do whatever he wants. I'm going to pay attention to this scheme, because it looks very similar to the "Buffy training session" in s3: Damon consciously tries to make Elena feel uncomfortable. I wonder how often he does it in s2. This was the only way he could manipulate her, and he lost it in 3x08, when Elena was comfortabe enough around him that the bed scene could happen. Up to 3x08 manipulation could go both ways, but now it seems that Damon's lost his leverage. Damon is generally off-guard, don't you think? The way he acted out in Disturbing Behavior? He's done things like that before, but he was always very careful for Elena not to see. In s3 Damon is getting sloppy (because he worries about Stefan so much he has too much on his plate? Because he got used to work with his brother as a team, and now that he's alone again he starts making mistakes?) and he lets Elena see things he'd never let her see before (feeding on Caroline's dad, angry outburst in 3x09). Looks like someone is giving up A LOT OF POWER over here.

[ever-neutral.livejournal.com]

I'm having an "Oh fuck, do I really ship this???" moment XD.

HAHAHA that is LITERALLY what I was thinking while typing all that. Like, self, what is even up with your brain that you enjoy this shit. #no amount of therapy will fix my issues

Sorry about your flu! But YAY for re-watch thoughts! GREAT point about Damon's behaviour in 2x10. I actually caught this on first viewing, but like you I waved it off as gratuitous. Interestingly, I saw A LOT of blah blah over the ~sexual tension~ in the D/E scenes in that episode (which was inappropriate considering Damon's behaviour), and I waved that off too as "shippers gonna ship", but--what you're saying makes complete sense. I can absolutely buy that the weird sexual vibe in those scenes is deliberate. There's really no need for Damon to move in so close to Elena and stare at her mouth and whatnot. He's absolutely using his sexuality as a form of intimidation.

I think that's the only significant instance in S2, but there are A LOT of examples in S3. The nudity scene in 3x01, the scene in 3x03 where he suggests she was having wet dreams (lol) about him, the kitchen scene in 3x04 about the necklace, and the obvious ~"this is the way to a vampire's heart"~ moment in direct response to Elena asking him to do it for~ her. It's a bizarre manifestation of insecurity. Fairly desperate way to hold on to a semblance of power, really. But you're right--that's done with after 3x08. Because Elena gave in, she let him stay and turned off the light and then fell asleep beside him, which displayed a lot of trust without strings. And then she made it clear that HE can trust HER in 3x09. So... Now I don't know where they'll go from here. Will they continue to play games? I sadistically hope so, because 1) I ENJOY TRAINWRECKS OKAY; 2) there is too much that is fucked up in their relationship for the writers not to explore. They are playing with fire. I will be mad if we don't get to see the full force of that explosion. :)

[upupa-epops.livejournal.com]

Like, self, what is even up with your brain that you enjoy this shit.

I like your brain. #what is therapy?

I got to the part of s2 I don't know by heart, and I'm super-excited. I liked it very much when I was watching it for the first time, but now that I know a part of s3, s2 is even better!

He's absolutely using his sexuality as a form of intimidation.

And he did the same with Isobel in s1! Made out with her before he started threatening her! Damon Salvatore, I adore your playing with gender roles. You know you're sexy, and you're using it.

It's a bizarre manifestation of insecurity. Fairly desperate way to hold on to a semblance of power, really.

Well, he has a bit of power here, because Elena is uncomfortable with her own sexuality. Or rather she used to be, because I believe that the bed scene was a game changer, and from now on when Damon tries to provoke Elena, she'll provoke him back just to show him that he's lost his leverage.

Now I'm wondering how much Damon is really comfortable with his sexuality. Is it real, or is it just an act? He might've been born like that, some people just have no shame, and there is nothing in flashbacks (at least nothing I remember) that would indicate one thing or another. But if it's a part of his performance and a manipulative technique he's learned (in our culture it's relatively easy to intimidate women with this kind of behavior, and it's even easier to intimidate men if you're a man yourself. So Damon usually doesn't need to go far with his provocation, a little is enough to make his opponent feel uneasy), then it leaves an interesting opening here if Elena does as I want her to do and starts using his own weapon against him. It might turn out that Damon is not that comfortable with his own sexuality after all.

Actually it's not that impossible, you know? When Katherine flashes him in s2 (the shower scene after she got out of the tomb), he has this FML facial expression and he is a bit nervous. It might be that he's just surprised that she broke free, but if it's not?

God, I'm reading too much into a teen vampire show again...

[ever-neutral.livejournal.com]

And he did the same with Isobel in s1! Made out with her before he started threatening her! Damon Salvatore, I adore your playing with gender roles. You know you're sexy, and you're using it.

LMFAO. Now I'm reminded of that "I'm sexy and I know it" song. Anyway. YES. Indeed. Damon wields his sexual appeal like a weapon. Just like Katherine does. It's fascinating to me that this is the primary way by which he defines himself--by how desirable he is to others. It's not the same as Katherine undermining the system by bending its rules (i.e. taking advantage of the fact that women are expected to be desirable for men in order to manipulate men); Damon shouldn't need to objectify himself to such a degree, and yet he does... And now I'm thinking of that hilarious moment where Elena and Alaric essentially whore Damon out to Rebekah, not even asking his opinion on the matter. XD

I agree that Elena's not so comfortable with the less heteronormative parts of her sexuality (she's only a teenager still), but one thing I appreciated about Elena/Stefan was how sexually assertive she was with him. That's obviously in contrast to her not-relationship with Damon. Scenes like their last one in 3x02 and their "training" in 3x08 are interesting to me in that she seems to be waiting for HIM to make a ~move. So fucked. PLAYING WITH FIRE, CHILDREN.

I can't believe Damon is that secure in his sexuality. He flaunts himself ALL. THE. TIME. That's overcompensating. It's gender performance. He's absorbed the idea that he's good mostly to LOOK GOOD, and he uses that to get by. And I'm glad that you mentioned that he uses it against men too, because HE TOTALLY DOES, lol. Like in mid-S2 when he's threatening John at one point, and he leans in~ and whispers in John's ear. I laughed out loud.

ITA about that shower scene. You're not the only one who picked up on that FML expression. XD I SO WANT ELENA TO PWN DAMON IN SUCH A WAY. I mean. Not just for the hot, but for the character development~ lmao. I AIN'T EVEN MAD.

[dante-kent.livejournal.com]

Must pitch in on this amazingness:

SHE WILL PROBABLY LONG FOR STEFAN'S ELENA.

OMG YES YES YES SO MUCH. This is exactly what will/should happen. Because as much as Stefan and Elena make more sense as a couple, I've always felt that at a point she's going to outgrow him. Their relationship is so based upon a specific need for each other, one that may cease to be necessary. Elena needed Stefan to get her out of her post-orphan-ing haze, and he did that for her, and they were great for each other for a while. But as Elena's life continues to change, and as Elena herself continues to change, that niche that Stefan fills in her life will lose its importance. That's not to say that she won't still need him, but their relationship HAS to change - is already changing - and maybe whatever Stefan ends up as after this current mess will be what the new Elena needs. But maybe the crazy psychopath older brother will fit the bill more. Who knows.

Whatever happens, I think Elena will always want to be the girl that just needed to see a little more light in life. She's always going to crave the days when her dead parents were her biggest problem (and she's probably going to hate herself for that too). I just want her to be so messed up and confused and glorious. Just for a while. BE TWISTED, ELENA. Instant way to my heart.

[ever-neutral.livejournal.com]

EVERYTHING WHAT YOU SAY

This has always been my "but" in debates about Stefan and Elena being more compatible as a couple. They're very well-suited in S1-2. But Elena was in a holding pattern for the entirety of those two seasons. She hasn't grown~ into who she's gonna be. (I guess this is my main reservation with Elena/Stefan. It seems like for them to really develop as characters, they have to be apart from each other. So far. We'll see.) I think their relationship worked so well last season because Elena had a strong need for comfort/shelter in the crazy of her life, and Stefan could be that for her. But what happens when she starts needing other things? She's gonna get harder, and more cynical, and she's gonna start wanting to be challenged rather than protected. It might be that whoever Elena ~ends up being will be someone more compatible with Damon after all. WE'LL SEE. I can say nothing for sure now.

BE TWISTED, ELENA. Instant way to my heart.

PREACH.

[upupa-epops.livejournal.com]

It might be that whoever Elena ~ends up being will be someone more compatible with Damon after all.

How do you imagine it? I mean, as a relationship that can actually work, or this weird "thing" we've been talking about, when neither of them can have a functional relationship with anyone, but they can sort of comfort each other?

[ever-neutral.livejournal.com]

Yes. That. The latter.

[dante-kent.livejournal.com]

But Elena was in a holding pattern for the entirety of those two seasons. She hasn't grown~ into who she's gonna be.

I just love you. Anyway. You are ABSOLUTELY right. I see Stefan and Elena as sort of security blankets for each other. As long as they stay together, they can mutually pretend to be normal and happy and ok, because that's what they both so desperately want. But they're NOT normal or happy or ok, and the longer they keep enabling each other the longer it'll take to either embrace or get over whatever darkness is within them (I vote embrace, obviously). Elena NEEDS to lose the coddling and face up to not only what's happened but what it's made her into. She didn't really make any progress as far as growing up is concerned until after Stefan was gone. This season, she's been getting stronger, getting darker, getting smarter (sometimes...), because no one's holding her hand and telling her it's ok for her to ignore all the bad things in her life (and her soul). Stefan can't stand to see Elena turn into Katherine. Damon's ok with the fact that in many ways, she already is (and always has been) Katherine.

But oddly enough, I actually think the mutual coddling relationship is more destructive for Stefan. But that's a whole other tangent.

There is no for sure about who or what will be right for Elena in the long run. For now, I'm just glad she's grown beyond the kind, caring, compassionate, supportive girl. That's lovely and all that, but I am more than ready for badass, bitter, vengeful, functioning-brain-activity Elena. Your icon says everything.

[upupa-epops.livejournal.com]

But oddly enough, I actually think the mutual coddling relationship is more destructive for Stefan. But that's a whole other tangent.

Of course it is! I'm watching 2x14 right now, and I feel all awkward, because Stefan is totally directing everything towards Elena. Whatever you want, whatever you are comfortable with, whatever is ok for you. Ok, he's being supportive, but... it seems like he has no expectations at all; whatever Elena decides to do with their relationship will be fine with him. It's not healthy for him. Hell, it's not healthy for neither of them.

[ever-neutral.livejournal.com]

(Man, didn't we only meet like, a few weeks ago? I FEEL AS THOUGH WE HAVE KNOWN EACH OTHER MUCH LONGER~)

Heh, I feel kind of bad about labelling Stefan as Elena's "security blanket" tho. "Parachute" seems more apt to me. (SHE DON'T NEED A PARACHUTE, BABY, IF SHE GOT -- Yeah.) She knows that he will catch her if she falls~~ In contrast, being with Damon is like falling without a net. Just like in that excellent "Big Top" fic by unoshot. :) Any way you look at it, Damon scares the shit out of Elena. Because he can reach that dark, scary place inside of her that she kind of hates about herself. Elena isn't very good at letting people in anymore. She made a choice to let herself be vulnerable to Stefan, because she sincerely believed he'd never hurt her. But Damon. Damon knows ALL THE WAYS to hurt her. Imagine if she let herself fall in love with him. That would entail a drop off a precipice from which she may never recover. Stefan made her feel safe; Damon makes her feel out of control. She must run from this feeling.

But this: Stefan can't stand to see Elena turn into Katherine. Damon's ok with the fact that in many ways, she already is (and always has been) Katherine. -- AMEN. Elena would never be able to grow and learn to embrace the darkness~ inside herself while being with Stefan. I think she'd feel terrible about disappointing him, just as he feels terrible now about disappointing her. And agreed that it's more destructive for Stefan! Because he has a whole HEAP OF ISH that he basically brushed under the rug while he was with Elena. NOW THE DUST BUNNIES HAVE COME OUT TO PLAY. (or something)

I am more than ready for badass, bitter, vengeful, functioning-brain-activity Elena. Your icon says everything.

PREACH.

[upupa-epops.livejournal.com]

Oh dear, I'm having a love fest on my journal. WHICH IS A GOOD THING. I feel like I've known you guys for ages myself :).

The thing is, Stefan did hurt her. So she tried to make Damon more "secure", but Damon acted out. And now it's kind of time for Elena to act out herself and to figure out that there is no secure option. Not because she is a doppelganger and she is screwed, but because this is generally how it works for people. And no, Damon won't make her safe. He is not supposed to. He is her friend, and he will help her out in most cases, but it's not his job to shield her from the world.

Elena refusing to be damsel in distress in s2 was already a step in the good direction. Btw - I'm still rewatching, and even though all the characters keep yelling at Elena that she's being suicidal, I'm just crazy in love with this girl. She calls them out on everything - that what she does is no different from what they're willing to do in order to save her. And she doesn't do it to OMG NOT BE KATHERINE, because it's stated very clearly that Katherine didn't expect Klaus to find her all family. She sacrificed Rose and Trevor, and Elena was well aware that more than one person dies in the ritual. She didn't even blink for Jules.

[dante-kent.livejournal.com]

(Fandom does that to people. And when it's real, you can't walk away. Why yes, I do in fact have a TVD quote for everything.)

"Security blanket" does sound a bit harsh, and I don't mean to undermine their relationship completely. I just think that they keep each other locked in this static position of what they think they should be, because if the other believes in the act, they can believe it themselves (the pronouns got a bit messy there, but hopefully you get the idea). But parachute is absolutely true too (Big Top is glorious, and ridiculously accurate). Because Stefan is safe and normal and totally acceptable to her friends and family, but Damon is terrifying. Elena doesn't resist her attraction to him out of guilt or loyalty (that's not the driving reason, at least) - it's because she can't handle what loving him might do to her. What it would make her admit about herself, how it would change her - I think Elena's petrified of how much she might actually be suited to Damon. Because Damon is clearly deranged, so if she matches him, well...

I think it's worse for Stefan because Elena's only being held back temporarily. She's stalling, but she's eventually going to figure it out and grow up. But Stefan is repressing, and has been denying himself for the better part of a century. That's not stalling, that's SERIOUS self-denial, but he never thought it was temporary. It wasn't like he figured he'd try this animal-blood, almost-human lifestyle for a while and then try to work up to being a functioning vampire. He NEVER intended to learn control. It's all or nothing with him, and Elena doesn't know any better, so she thinks encouraging him is what he needs, when it's sort of the opposite of what he needs. Damon was actually absolutely right about what Stefan needed to do, but because he's Damon, and he presents even his most rational thought processes like Damon, his path was never taken into consideration. This is SUCH a tangent. I'll stop.

[wheatear.livejournal.com]

Haha, well, you're not alone. Vamp!Elena was the first fic I wrote in this fandom. I think turning pretty much anyone into a vampire is interesting, because of how it does and doesn't change them.

[upupa-epops.livejournal.com]

I've read your fic yesterday! I still need to comment, but I've read it, so your're partly to be blamed for my old/new phase.

[wheatear.livejournal.com]

Happy to take part of the blame! XD

[pamsblau.livejournal.com]

This sounds cool! And spoilers about the books ahoy...






Well, she was actually a vampire in the books or so I've heard. I find this idea fascinationg and I do think it might happen on the show. OH THE POSSIBILITIES! AND DELENA! OMG!

[upupa-epops.livejournal.com]

As far as I know, in the books Elena already died and came back to life, like two or three times, and in the show we just had Uncle John dying for her once, so I wouldn't hold my breath on the show doing things according to book canon ;). But there was some vamp!Elena foreshadowing in s1, so I wouldn't say that it's impossible for her to be turned.