Elena Gilbert: Women Love Fest (Bonus Post)

[semele]

There are many other things I'm supposed to be doing right now, and I wasn't even going to write anything about Elena for womenlovefest, but I can't help it, I need it out of my system ;).

The only argument I ever had about Elena took place a couple of months ago during some episode discussion on 2x20 The Last Day and I still strongly belive in everything I said back then, so I might as well make it into a short yet proper meta.



The Awesome Thing Elena Gilbert Did In TVD 2x20 The Last Day

I'm pretty sure you all remember this dialogue:

Elena: Didn't stop Damon.
Stefan: He shouldn't have done what he did. He did it because he loves you.
Elena: But he did this to me, Stefan, which means he doesn't really know what love is. And to be honest, I don't know if I do. I'm 17 years old. How am I supposed to know any of this yet? I know that I love you, Stefan. I know that. But my future? Our lives together? Those were things I was supposed to deal with as they came along. I was supposed to grow up. Decide if I want to have kids and start a family. Grow old. I was supposed to have a lifetime of those choices, and... now? That's all gone.
Stefan: Elena, say it. Please.
Elena: I don't want to be a vampire, Stefan.

Now, I might have a soft spot for vamp!Elena fanfiction, but I think this was one of the top Elena scenes ever. This one short dialogue shows that she is a wonderful, smart, mature woman who can make conscious decisions about her own life.

I have this theory that every teenage girl should watch The Vampire Diaries, because Elena Gilbert is one of the healthiest role models possible (of course she is not the only one; there is no such thing as a universal role model that would agree with any personality), especially when it comes to romantic relationships. Of course she loves her boyfriend. Hell, she is head over heels for him, and their relationship is good and intense (my inner Delena shipper doesn't belive that I've just said that in public). But Stefan is not and will never be her entire life; no matter how much Elena loves him, she will always be her own person, have individual plans and dreams, care for her friends and family. So even though she truly loves him, she might not choose to give up her life for him. Which leads us to...

Choice. Elena wants to make her own choices, and I love the way she reacted when she thought all of her decisions were taken away from her. Imagine that you're seventeen years old and full of plans, you want to go to college, meet new people, see the world and live a little before you decide how do you want to live your life. And than one day someone suddenly says that your entire life is fixed; you're going to be with the guy you love, and you will live happily ever after, that's all, and you have nothing to say, it is just going to happen tommorow. I don't know about you, but I would feel so trapped I'd freak out and start yelling at people. No matter how much I loved the guy.

So when I saw people critisizing Elena for that scene, saying that she is indecisive and doesn't really love Stefan if she doesn't want to be turned for him, I couldn't belive it. And from that day on I feel this urge to tell people about the awesomeness of Elena Who Didn't Want To Become a Vampire. Not because she couldn't make up her mind on whether or not she loved Stefan, but because, even at seventeen, she is a responsible, smart young woman and I admire her for that.

Comments

[galianoir.livejournal.com]

I almost cried when I read this dialogue again.

People critisize her for that? (I should really stop asking this question. Of course they do, she did sth on her own. Bad, bad girl).

But I love this scene mostly for which means he doesn't really know what love is

[upupa-epops.livejournal.com]

Of course they do, she did sth on her own.

In this case I belive it's more complicated than that. Elena doesn't follow the idea of romantic love that is promoted in our culture, because she doesn't sacrifice everything for love. I had the impression that people couldn't forgive her for being a realistic character, not a typical romantic comedy character.

[galianoir.livejournal.com]

Of course, you're right. But I seems to me that doing sth on her owwn would be enough.

[zimnyryb.livejournal.com]

and doesn't really love Stefan if she doesn't want to be turned for him
Okropny jest taki typ myślenia, bo przecież każdy z nas stanowi indywidualną jednostkę, tak? Elena w świecie TVD dokładnie tak samo i ona musi mieć własne cele i marzenia, żeby zachować jakąkolwiek prawdopodobność i być może też po prostu nie zwariować. To mi się kojarzy z takimi rzeczami, jak na przykład ci mężczyźni, którzy tuczą swoje kobiety, bo takimi je wolą. Może to dziwne nawiązanie, ale akurat tak mi się skojarzyło. Gdyby Elena zgodziła się na przemianę TYLKO DLATEGO, że któryś z braci tego chce, byłaby po prostu głupia. Na szczęście nie jest.

[upupa-epops.livejournal.com]

Zgadzam się w stu procentach :).

[janie-tangerine.livejournal.com]

... people said she doesn't love Stefan for real when she said this?

Let me go and cry in a corner. No, seriously. Talks someone who closet-ships Stefan/Elena (mostly because I feel weird at shipping the main het couple XD) and I do because they have a healthy relationship it's plain that if she says this to him she doesn't love him any less. She's just, you know, pissed that she won't have a life anymore when she's SEVENTEEN. This was what cemented my love for Elena Gilbert forever I think. I subscribe every word to this post. I can't hear that if you love someone you have to sacrifice everything that you are and that you care for because of them. This. Just. This. All of it. And that dialogue will never not be my favorite thing Elena ever said/did.

[upupa-epops.livejournal.com]

I have my doubts about Stefan/Elena, but they are rooted in early season two events. I couldn't even begin to comprehend Stefan feeding on Elena. I mean, vampires are predators. The people they feed on are prey. And you don't reduce your loved one to prey, you just don't, even if they offer willingly. So after 2x05 Stefan/Elena became my poster ship for "this is going to be majorly unhealthy, mark my words!". But as the season went, I was getting more and more convinced that it's not so bad (I loved the way Stefan was supporting and respecting Elena's choices!), and the 2x20 dialogue was marvelous.

And people do critisize her for that, because, apparently, if you don't fit into a romantic comedy scheme and you refuse to turn you boyfriend into the only important thing in your life, you are a bad person :(.

[janie-tangerine.livejournal.com]

Stefan/Elena is a source of eternal mystery for me because in theory I don't care for main het ships and vampire guy/human girl never was my favorite trope, but for some reason I actually like them. Mostly because they manage not to be boring (which with established relationships is hard-ish to do), and you can see that they do seriously love each other. (Though when he drank her blood... I have mixed feelings. It was creepy-ish and exactly what you said, but at the same time I could work with it because it wasn't Elena being like 'omg feed on me it's so romantic'.) Says all that I think that I might have started shipping it when they broke up in 2x06 though - in that bit they were so devastated that I was just like 'get back together you... wait, I actually ship this?'. And that said I also liked that he supported her all along and he understood her point in that scene you quoted.

if you don't fit into a romantic comedy scheme and you refuse to turn you boyfriend into the only important thing in your life, you are a bad person

Meh. As if your boyfriend is where you start and end. (And if it's the case for whoever hates her for putting her own person before her relationship, good for you but no thank you.) Then again I read that she has to die because when she kissed Damon in the finale she had in theory cheated on Stefan, which is totally preposterous since he was dying and it was a totally platonic kiss. I don't get people sometimes.

[upupa-epops.livejournal.com]

I started to figure out how to reply and I ended up writing another Elena-centric meta. I love this fest :D.

[ever-neutral.livejournal.com]

Word to this post. I can't believe people actually criticize Elena for that. It's incomprehensible. One of the best Elena moments, hands down.

[upupa-epops.livejournal.com]

It was incomprehensible for me as well, that's why I had to get it out of my system and write this meta. I mean, it's been a couple of months now and I'm still at least a little angry.

[fauxkaren.livejournal.com]

I love that Elena doesn't romanticize being a vampire. She loves being human and makes decisions for herself.

[upupa-epops.livejournal.com]

Word! Elena is such a wonderful, smart girl and I'm so glad there is such a character in one of the top teen shows.

[cala-jane.livejournal.com]

AFter Damon fed Elena blood, I was waiting for that exact moment, afraid it would never come. I mean, how could Elena *want* to be a vampire? The way they are portrayed on the show, how could anyone want to be a vampire?

In TVD vampirism isn't some immortal sparkling shit. In TVD it's dark and painful and you're never yourself again. Elena was there when Vicky was turned, she saw how out of control the girl was. She saw Stefan struggle with his blood problem, she listened to Damon talk about turning your feelings off and I can just bet she talked to Caroline how it was for the blonde as well.

And having all those experiences and knowing everything that she knows... How could she WANT to be a vampire?!

But then again. She's a 17 yr old girl in love with a vampire. How dare she has her own ideas for how she wants to live her life and even consider for a second her future isn't all about The Guy....

*cuddles this post*

[upupa-epops.livejournal.com]

In TVD vampirism isn't some immortal sparkling shit. In TVD it's dark and painful and you're never yourself again.

What I love about vampirism in TVD is that it's so ambigious. Of course you are right, it's painful and it changes everything, but at the same time the vampires make do. They are not enternaly miserable or anything, they deal and carry on. So it's not like you want to be a vampire with every fibre of your being, and it's not like you want to kill yourself when in transition in order to put yourself out of your misery. It's complicated. And I like complicated, it's shiny.

This post cuddles you back and I think you should both cuddle Elena for being such a wonderful, wise woman.

[pistacjowa.livejournal.com]

Elena mi wtedy zaimponowała i poczułam się naprawdę z niej dumna! Dopiero wtedy po tej rozmowie, zaczęłam o wiele bardziej lubić i doceniać tę postać, zresztą ogólnie w drugim sezonie Elena była naprawdę świetna :)

[upupa-epops.livejournal.com]

Też mi strasznie zaimponowała. Ja nie byłam taka mądra, jak miałam siedemnaście lat.

[sa-da-ko.livejournal.com]

I love this scene, Elena is great there. Things she said to Stefan are obviously true and I imagine that saying them to him must have been difficult (I love you, but I possibly don't want to be with you forever?) and she does it amazingly.

[upupa-epops.livejournal.com]

Ouch, it must've been extremely difficult! And yet she had to say those things, because otherwise everything between her and Stefan would start getting so royally screwed up they wouldn't even know how to start fixing it. I love her for being aware of this and doing the difficult, right thing.

[akzseinga.livejournal.com]

Ja w drugim sezonie tak mocno pokochałam Elenę, ze to jest prawie niezdrowe. Naprawdę, tak się z nią utożsamiam i tak ją podziwiam i naprawdę chciałabym być tak mądra i rozważna, a jednocześnie pełna miłości i empatii, w jej wieku.

Nie wiem, jak można ją krytykować. Naprawdę.

[akzseinga.livejournal.com]

A jak kocham Elena/Stefan, to chyba nawet nie muszę mówić, prawda? Są najlepszą rzeczą w całym serialu i jest to dla mnie dziwne, bo normalnie nie jestem fanką głównych par w serialu, zwłaszcza jeśli chodzi o wampira i dziewczynę (nienawidzę Buffy/Angel czy Sookie/Bill).

Ale Stefan/Elena? Kochają się tak bardzo, a jednocześnie jest to niesamowicie zdrowa relacja. Ta scena z piciem krwi z dłoni jest jedną z moich ulubionych. Spodziewałam się, że wynikną z tego straszne konsekwencje, że zmieni to zupełnie ich relację, ale oni i z tym dali sobie radę. JAK? JAK? Coś, co powinno ich niezdrowo od siebie uzależnić, praktycznie tylko scementowało ich związek, ale to są wciąż wolni ludzie, którzy pozwalają tej drugiej osobie na podejmowanie wyborów, które wcale nie muszę im się podobać. Przykład: Stefan pod koniec drugiego sezonu, kiedy akceptuje decyzję Eleny, mimo że jest zdruzgotany perspektywą tego, że może ją stracić. ON GODZI SIĘ NA TO, ŻEBY ELENA SIĘ POŚWIĘCIŁA, PONIEWAŻ TAKI BYŁ JEJ WYBÓR. Jeżeli to nie jest miłość, to nie wiem, co nią jest. No i Elena, która widzi świat i swoje życie odrębnie od Stefana, co jest widoczne w tym dialogu, który cytowałaś. A jednocześnie kocha go, jest tego pewna.

Elena/Stefan <3333

[upupa-epops.livejournal.com]

Jak widziałam zachowanie Stefana pod koniec drugiego sezonu, to w pierwszej chwili byłam tak zaskoczona, że nawet nie wiedziałam, jak to sobie tłumaczyć. Dopiero po chwili mi zaskoczyło w głowie, że on naprawdę daje jej wybór, że uznaje swoją omylność i nie zakłada, że jeśli on się na coś nie zgadza, to to coś jest obiektywnie niewłaściwe, że nie ma prawa narzucać nikomu swojego wyboru. Wiesz, że widziałam gdzieś w necie, jak ludzie strasznie bashują Stefana za końcówkę II sezonu i twierdzą, że jest miękką cipką i w ogóle?

Wielkie dzięki, przez Twój komentarz właśnie wymyśliłam kolejną metę o Elenie...

[le-mru.livejournal.com]

WORD. I strongly believe that Elena is the *good* Bella Swan - like, at first we ridiculed the show for its analogies to the infamous Twilight series, but as it went on and on I realized that it's not a bad thing, that you can do great things with source material that's... not so great (and that's the hope I have for HBO's Game of Thrones). And that is why I agree every teenage girl, and certainly every Twilight fan should watch The Vampire Diaries - to see what it should be.

[upupa-epops.livejournal.com]

I only know Twilight from funny pictures all around the internet, so I don't want to go too much into the comparison you made. But I do agree that Elena is everything teenage girls in popular culture usually are not, she is smart, strong and resourceful, and she refuses to be damsel in distress.

[sucksucksmile.livejournal.com]

I didn't comment on this but I totally meant to.
You're spot on with how I feel about this.

I loved that whole scene just so so so so much.
It was perfect.
And I was very much like LOOK AT THIS BELLA SWAN.
Because Elena's got it so right.

And she isn't about to voluntarily throw her life away just to be a vampire with Stefan. OR Damon.

[upupa-epops.livejournal.com]

Thanks for reading and commenting, I'm so glad you liked it!

I think Elena might at some point become a vampire (before 2x20 I was sure of it, now I give it a not very strong "maybe"), there's just been too much foreshadowing in the show (look at her converstation with Lexi and then with Lexi's boyfriend), but it would be something done to her rather than her choice.

[goldy-dollar.livejournal.com]

THIS IS ONE OF MY FAVOURITE SCENES OF ANYTHING EVER. Elena, you own my heart. :DDD I ship Stefan/Elena like burning but sometimes I think my ideal Elena ending would be if she went off to university and fell in love with some human guy and went on to have the most boring but HUMAN life because she seriously deserves it after all of this.

But anyway:

I have this theory that every teenage girl should watch The Vampire Diaries, because Elena Gilbert is one of the healthiest role models possible (of course she is not the only one; there is no such thing as a universal role model that would agree with any personality), especially when it comes to romantic relationships.

YES. I am constantly blown away by how much agency and independence that Elena is given on this show - when she is one of the few human characters left and where the whole season was constructed to make her the damsel in distress. But she keeps fighting and keeps trying to protect her loved ones and that is what makes TVD the best vampire story.

And her hilltop confession is the the best. Nina's tears tear me up on the inside.

[upupa-epops.livejournal.com]

Elena, you own my heart. :DDD I ship Stefan/Elena like burning but sometimes I think my ideal Elena ending would be if she went off to university and fell in love with some human guy and went on to have the most boring but HUMAN life because she seriously deserves it after all of this.

I'm not sure if that's the end deal I'd like in the show, plot-wise, but that's definitely what Elena deserves. So, you know, the human in me says: "Yes, please, you writers do that!", and the fanfiction writer in me yells: "No, let's mess with her a little more, please!").

Not every choice Elena makes is good, but she makes them anyway and sticks to them as long as need be. I love characters who are brave enough to make honest mistakes.