(Fandom does that to people. And when it's real, you can't walk away. Why yes, I do in fact have a TVD quote for everything.)
"Security blanket" does sound a bit harsh, and I don't mean to undermine their relationship completely. I just think that they keep each other locked in this static position of what they think they should be, because if the other believes in the act, they can believe it themselves (the pronouns got a bit messy there, but hopefully you get the idea). But parachute is absolutely true too (Big Top is glorious, and ridiculously accurate). Because Stefan is safe and normal and totally acceptable to her friends and family, but Damon is terrifying. Elena doesn't resist her attraction to him out of guilt or loyalty (that's not the driving reason, at least) - it's because she can't handle what loving him might do to her. What it would make her admit about herself, how it would change her - I think Elena's petrified of how much she might actually be suited to Damon. Because Damon is clearly deranged, so if she matches him, well...
I think it's worse for Stefan because Elena's only being held back temporarily. She's stalling, but she's eventually going to figure it out and grow up. But Stefan is repressing, and has been denying himself for the better part of a century. That's not stalling, that's SERIOUS self-denial, but he never thought it was temporary. It wasn't like he figured he'd try this animal-blood, almost-human lifestyle for a while and then try to work up to being a functioning vampire. He NEVER intended to learn control. It's all or nothing with him, and Elena doesn't know any better, so she thinks encouraging him is what he needs, when it's sort of the opposite of what he needs. Damon was actually absolutely right about what Stefan needed to do, but because he's Damon, and he presents even his most rational thought processes like Damon, his path was never taken into consideration. This is SUCH a tangent. I'll stop.
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timeasmymeasure
no subject
Date: 2011-12-03 03:52 am (UTC)Why yes, I do in fact have a TVD quote for everything.)"Security blanket" does sound a bit harsh, and I don't mean to undermine their relationship completely. I just think that they keep each other locked in this static position of what they think they should be, because if the other believes in the act, they can believe it themselves (the pronouns got a bit messy there, but hopefully you get the idea). But parachute is absolutely true too (Big Top is glorious, and ridiculously accurate). Because Stefan is safe and normal and totally acceptable to her friends and family, but Damon is terrifying. Elena doesn't resist her attraction to him out of guilt or loyalty (that's not the driving reason, at least) - it's because she can't handle what loving him might do to her. What it would make her admit about herself, how it would change her - I think Elena's petrified of how much she might actually be suited to Damon. Because Damon is clearly deranged, so if she matches him, well...
I think it's worse for Stefan because Elena's only being held back temporarily. She's stalling, but she's eventually going to figure it out and grow up. But Stefan is repressing, and has been denying himself for the better part of a century. That's not stalling, that's SERIOUS self-denial, but he never thought it was temporary. It wasn't like he figured he'd try this animal-blood, almost-human lifestyle for a while and then try to work up to being a functioning vampire. He NEVER intended to learn control. It's all or nothing with him, and Elena doesn't know any better, so she thinks encouraging him is what he needs, when it's sort of the opposite of what he needs. Damon was actually absolutely right about what Stefan needed to do, but because he's Damon, and he presents even his most rational thought processes like Damon, his path was never taken into consideration. This is SUCH a tangent. I'll stop.