Date: 2011-11-29 08:57 pm (UTC)
Angelus is my problem in general, and I choose to interpret it as Angel deluding himself. I also choose to think that Spike with a soul can see right through this act and calls Angel out on it.

I guess the main difference is that Buffyverse is an epic story about heroes who save the world a lot, while TVD is about a bunch of kids who keep finding themselves in the wrong place at the wrong time, constantly stepping into things bigger that themselves. Buffy is the chosen one and she has the mission. Elena wants all this crap to be over, so that she can resume her normal life. Those two stories require different rhetorics, and different rhetorics require different characters. So Damon and Spike are a little bit similar (fool for love, an ultimate performer), but you are right, Spike would never act out the way Damon acted out in Disturbing Behavior. He would never close Katherine/Drusilla in the tomb in Masquarade. He would never feed Elena/Buffy his blood, because, hell, vampirism in Buffyverse is so different from vampirism in TVD! No one ever expected Buffy to turn into a vampire, while with Elena it's a valid question. The list of differences can go ad infinitum. There are some very basic similarities that work on a very general level, but once you get into it? You get two different shows that just belong to the same genre.
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