But once Damon makes his feelings clear, the {idea} that she COULD reciprocate starts bugging her. It starts leading to her doing things like kissing Stefan in front of Damon (2x03) because she feels the need to ~prove that she and Damon will never happen. At the same time, she starts learning to wield her emotional power over him (now HEIGHTENED because of him being in love with her), as you described.
I actually think that Elena is attracted to the fact that Damon is attracted to her. It's a bit dirty, actually, because she doesn't want him, but the idea that he loves her so much must be intoxicating. Katherine was right, she does enjoy having them both worship at her altar; Elena is a good girl and she doesn't enjoy it THAT MUCH, but she does, just a little bit.
The sheer level of intensity in her r/ship with Damon (the compassion, the hate, the sheer amount of effort it takes to keep him at arm's length) is something that really fucks her up. He's able to affect her more than just about everybody else in her life--even Stefan.
Girl, you say "cognitive dissonance" and I'm all yours :D. But you are right, Elena has to put SO MUCH EFFORT into not getting too close to Damon, emotionally; it's not about sexual tension, it's about the kind of emotional relationship she has with him. She shouldn't understand him so well! She know she shouldn't have forgiven him for Jeremy, and yet she can't help it. Seriously, it would be easier if it was just sexual attraction; that she could understand. But friendship? Of course she keeps saying that they're friends, because it's an acceptable thing to say, but the truth is that it scares the shit out of her. Finding your boyfriend's psychotic, abusive, emotionally unstable brother sexually attractive - yeah, hormones. Having a real, deep, intense friendship with him - HOLY FUCK, WHAT IS WRONG WITH ME?
Funnily enough, I think this is what actually accounts for the rock-solid-ness of Elena/Stefan in S2. If Damon weren't in the picture causing chaos, I think her r/ship with Stefan would be far less stable.
Spot-on! I didn't think about that! You are right, Damon, for Elena, is too much emotions, and that's why she is not comfortable around him. She tried to be balanced (and all the other things from "Skinny Love"), because she tries to rebuild her life. If she lets herself feel the way she feels with Damon, she would have to smash everything and build her life anew. She doesn't want that. She wants the old Elena back. By choosing Stefan, she chooses a version of herself.
The way that Damon loves Elena is so overwhelming that she can't NOT be affected by it. Take "I will always choose you". In that moment? Elena feels something back. (Nina portrays this pretty clearly, IMO.) It's not that she reciprocates the sentiment, because she doesn't choose him, clearly; rather, what she is deeply affected by is THE FEELING. This is the same sort of ~reaction that happens on Damon's deathbed and which leads her to declare that she likes him as he is. It's not that the sentiment is true across the board, but the feeling is real.
THIS MAKES ALL THE SENSE. I'm not gonna argue, I'm gonna AGREE with all the things, HA! You are so right - the way Damon expresses his feelings is overwhelming, intoxicating and intimidating, and she can't ignore it, because she can't ignore him, she physically can't remove him from her life. It's probably a bad example, but look how FANS are affected by Damon's feelings, how many fantasies are built on this image, how many people feel touched by this performance. Elena has it on a very personal level; she doesn't witness it, she is being made a part of the show. Elena is a compassionate person, I bet on some level she even feels sorry for Damon. And she is angry with him. She is hurt. She understands. She is attracted. She is tired. I HAVE TOO MANY EMOTIONS EVEN WRITING ABOUT IT!
Re: Elena's attraction to Damon in S2
I actually think that Elena is attracted to the fact that Damon is attracted to her. It's a bit dirty, actually, because she doesn't want him, but the idea that he loves her so much must be intoxicating. Katherine was right, she does enjoy having them both worship at her altar; Elena is a good girl and she doesn't enjoy it THAT MUCH, but she does, just a little bit.
The sheer level of intensity in her r/ship with Damon (the compassion, the hate, the sheer amount of effort it takes to keep him at arm's length) is something that really fucks her up. He's able to affect her more than just about everybody else in her life--even Stefan.
Girl, you say "cognitive dissonance" and I'm all yours :D. But you are right, Elena has to put SO MUCH EFFORT into not getting too close to Damon, emotionally; it's not about sexual tension, it's about the kind of emotional relationship she has with him. She shouldn't understand him so well! She know she shouldn't have forgiven him for Jeremy, and yet she can't help it. Seriously, it would be easier if it was just sexual attraction; that she could understand. But friendship? Of course she keeps saying that they're friends, because it's an acceptable thing to say, but the truth is that it scares the shit out of her. Finding your boyfriend's psychotic, abusive, emotionally unstable brother sexually attractive - yeah, hormones. Having a real, deep, intense friendship with him - HOLY FUCK, WHAT IS WRONG WITH ME?
Funnily enough, I think this is what actually accounts for the rock-solid-ness of Elena/Stefan in S2. If Damon weren't in the picture causing chaos, I think her r/ship with Stefan would be far less stable.
Spot-on! I didn't think about that! You are right, Damon, for Elena, is too much emotions, and that's why she is not comfortable around him. She tried to be balanced (and all the other things from "Skinny Love"), because she tries to rebuild her life. If she lets herself feel the way she feels with Damon, she would have to smash everything and build her life anew. She doesn't want that. She wants the old Elena back. By choosing Stefan, she chooses a version of herself.
The way that Damon loves Elena is so overwhelming that she can't NOT be affected by it. Take "I will always choose you". In that moment? Elena feels something back. (Nina portrays this pretty clearly, IMO.) It's not that she reciprocates the sentiment, because she doesn't choose him, clearly; rather, what she is deeply affected by is THE FEELING. This is the same sort of ~reaction that happens on Damon's deathbed and which leads her to declare that she likes him as he is. It's not that the sentiment is true across the board, but the feeling is real.
THIS MAKES ALL THE SENSE. I'm not gonna argue, I'm gonna AGREE with all the things, HA! You are so right - the way Damon expresses his feelings is overwhelming, intoxicating and intimidating, and she can't ignore it, because she can't ignore him, she physically can't remove him from her life. It's probably a bad example, but look how FANS are affected by Damon's feelings, how many fantasies are built on this image, how many people feel touched by this performance. Elena has it on a very personal level; she doesn't witness it, she is being made a part of the show. Elena is a compassionate person, I bet on some level she even feels sorry for Damon. And she is angry with him. She is hurt. She understands. She is attracted. She is tired. I HAVE TOO MANY EMOTIONS EVEN WRITING ABOUT IT!
*insert appropriate gif*
*brb, hyperventilating*