My feelings exactly. Come on, people, if you want functional, why do you go for Damon/Elena? Ok, I get it, Ian Somerhalder is handsome. And he (apparently) is a nice guy. He saves all the puppies and so on. But he is not his character. His character is this evil vampire person who snaps and kills people on a whim.

And hey, those aren't weird turn-ons. It's called a desperate longing for a plot ;). I've actually developed a hankering for fics in which sex is not that great. And for fics in which Elena is emotionally abusive. And for fics in which Damon/Elena relationship is shown in the context of power play. #bad fic poisoning